Equipping Your Journey: The Pain of Learning

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator

The Pain of Learning

 

Have you ever wondered why people do not try new things? At the root of it, is pain. Thats right it is painful to learn something new. Why? The nature of learning is to stretch what you know. And when you stretch you go to the limits of what you know. As a result of going to the edge of your knowledge, you are going to be wrong, you will make mistakes. And unless we have maintained our childlike innocence, each mistake will hurt our pride.  So what will you do? Will you give in to the pain or will your desire allow you persist? If you are having trouble with that proposition, imagine if you gave in to the pain of learning to walk. Imagine if you let the pain of falling kept you on your hands and knees. How much differently would your life have turned out? What would you have missed out on? In that same vein, what are you missing out on because the pain of learning is greater than your desire to persist?

Dream BIG, Go ALL IN, Be Great

- Jay The Motivator

Equipping for your Journey: Travel Agent or Tour Guide

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator

 

Travel Agent or Tour Guide

 

What is the difference between a Travel Agent and Tour Guide? Who would you prefer for your journey?  Thats the question I put for you today. So what are they? A Travel Agent is an expert on the experiences of others. They have never climbed the Himalayas but they can tell you the place most people like to stay when they go. They have never been to the beaches of Hawaii but they can tell you people love to book the zip lining package. A travel agent knows the popular places, they can even tell you how to get there but there is a BIG difference between simply "telling" the way and "showing" the way. 

 

A Tour Guide is an expect on a particular journey, they have intimate knowledge on their particular area. When at the Himalayas they will show you how to get to the top. When in Hawaii they will show you the best place to watch the sun set over the water. In short they know how to get you through your journey because they have took the journey themselves. So who would you rather entrust your journey to? When the night is the darkness, when the mountain becomes the steepest when the desert becomes the hottest, would you rather have someone who has been through it before with you or one who has booked flights for others to go through it?

Equipping for your Journey: Perspective

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator

 

Have you ever really looked out the window of an airplane. Like really looked. When you getting closer to the airport and you look out and see all those tiny houses, neighborhoods lakes and buildings. They appear so small from way up there. You can easily track how to get from 1 part of town to another because of your vantage point. Now what happens when you start to descend. Those small houses and buildings start to grow in size. Those landmarks that seemed so minuscule a couple of minutes ago have grown rather quickly. The paths that you were able to create from one side of town to the other have been obscured. The path is still there however, you can no longer see it because of where you are located. Interesting. The path is still there, you just cannot see it because of where you are located. So if you cannot get back to that vantage point what is the next best thing to do? Imagine for a moment, if you are driving from Atlanta to NY and have never been before what would be invaluable on your journey? A map! (Well now, you may say your map apps but stay with me.) That will help you navigate your way, point you in the right direction, keep you on course. Now once you are actually in NY and are pinpointing exactly where you want to be would you rather just stick with Siri or would you prefer someone who has been to where you want to go before? Would an expert who understands the obstacles specific to your end goal be a value to your journey? If so why do so few of us have them? Join me next week as we explore which is more helpful in your Journey, a Tour Guide or Travel Agent.

The "How" (Part 4)

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator

 

If the "How" is unimportant, what is?

 

What has always been the most part important on a person's journey to become more than what he is, Why. Your Why is the fuel that will keep you going when you encounter thoseobstacles. When you are tired it is your why that gives you energy. When you become distracted again it is your Why that keeps you focused. When you are weary and feel like you can no longer go on, thats right, its your Why that makes the difference. A Why makes the impossible, possible. So what makes for a powerful Why? We use to say that your Why has to be strong enough to make you cry. Initially most may say that their Why is money, however that is not strong enough. What is it that the money will do for you? What lives will the money allow you to impact? These are the things that allow you to continue. Discover your why now. Take a moment and envision what it would be like to ease the concerns of your Mother by being able to pay for her wedding. How would you feel to pay off your Grandmother's mortgage? What would it mean to be able to pay for your baby sister to go to college without a loan?  Hold on to that feeling, that is your Why. It is that feeling that will get you through your trying times. It is that feeling that energizes you when you feel low. It is that feeling that does not allow you to quit. It will be ultimately that Why that gets you from where you are now to where you want to be in the future!

The "How" (Part 3)

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator

 

If the "How" is not your business, what is?

 

If we are unsure how to move what do we do first? The short answer Pray. There is a common colloquialism that says, "If you want to make God laugh tell him your plans." Now although it may seem like just a cute saying it has a profound meaning.

If you take the story of Jonah who was swallowed by the fish, you may experience it more deeply. God spoke to Jonah and gave him a Purpose. However, Jonah resisted it and ran as far away from it as he could. Yet he could only get so far from it before a storm appeared in his life. While on a ship fleeing, God created a violent storm that threatened the well being of everyone aboard the ship. Now as the ship was rocking back and forth through the waves Jonah was fast asleep. He was awakened by his shipmates and he realized that his running was the cause of the storm that they were going through. The shipmates needed to separate themselves from Jonah to avoid the doom that the storm promised to bring to them. Jonah realizing what needed to happened advised that he needed to go into the depths of the storm to get through it.

So what Purpose are you running from? What storms are you creating in your life? Who's life are you endangering because of your resistance?

The "How" (Part 2)

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator

 

Sight Unseen

 

So the trouble with the "How" is that we want to know every aspect of it before we start moving. It seems to make sense when it comes to our Dreams. I have to know step 1 - 20 before I do anything, however life doesn't quite work like that. Imagine getting off from work, getting into your car yet, refusing to drive until all the lights are green between where you are and where you want to be. That sounds a little silly doesn't it? So if it is not practical when it comes to something as simple as going home why apply this unrealistic expectations as great as achieving your Dream? As with any journey things are going to come to you unexpected, opportunities will present themselves that you could never have planned for. Your job then is not to try and predict all of the possible steps that may happen. Your job is simply to continue, to persist, to press forward. Only through your continued action will you be able to reap the rewards that come along with walking by faith and not by sight.

The "How" (Part 1)

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator

 

The "How" is not your business 

 

So a lot of times with our aspirations for a better life we often become concerned with the how. Yet seldom is the "how" provided. Why is that? Firstly, we must change our expectations of what it looks like to move toward success. Many of us have seen the image of "what we think success looks like and what success really looks like" 

 

 

Now if we truly took that to heart what that image is conveying, the set backs and lateral moves would not be such a disappointment. If anything the opposite would be true. Every time we hit a set back that means you have one less obstacle to encounter on your road to Greatness. Every time you have to side step that means you are inching closer to your goal. In sales, there is a saying that the sales process doesn't really start until the prospect sales no. So the top sales people change how they look at that word. For them they get excited about the word no because to them that word means opportunity. They have an opportunity to show the prospect why their particular service would be most beneficial. They have an opportunity to show the prospect that even though the price is higher than a competitor they are getting more value with you. They have an opportunity to dust off their sales techniques and get better at their craft.

You too have an opportunity every time you encounter that roadblock to prove that you are deserving of your Dream. You have an opportunity to be the person required, to be responsible for that Dream. See the Dream is already yours. It was given to you by the Creator for your Special Purpose. The journey is designed not to keep you from it but make sure that when you attain it you have transformed into the "New You", that is big enough to hold that Dream. 

Preparation (Part 5)

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator

 

Can you bear not to try, and living a mediocre life?

There was a study done about 5 years ago where a nurse recorded the things that people on their death bed most regret. The number one thing was not fulfilling their life Dream. What is the kind of life that you want to create? Would you rather be surrounded by loves on that bed and look back on your life and feel at peace because you know you accomplished what you were meant to or would you be weighed down by regret. When it is time to meet your maker will you say, I know you gave me a Dream, a purpose to accomplish during my life but I decided not to because Scandal/Facebook/security/comfort/others opinions were more important to me than what you wanted...... or would you rather stand in front of Him and have Him say, "Well done". 

You still have breathe in your lungs so it is not too late for you to decide, it is not too late to choose something different. 

Preparation (Part 4)

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator

What would you be willing to sacrifice?

What is the price you are willing to pay? Would you give up sleep, free time, vacations, hobbies, love? My Mom did. My Mom and Dad separated when I was 5 and after some back and forth my younger brother and I went to live with our Mom. Now we didn't have our own place, we lived in the basement of our Aunt's house. All 3 of us slept on cots here as we didn't have enough money for a bed, let alone a place to stay. However, my Mom Dreamed that her sons would have a better life and so she worked consistently. She was a young nurse and worked as much as she could to provide us with our own place to stay. She did not go out, she did not do weekend getaways, she didn't spend time to get caught up on her tv shows. She worked and sacrificed. That sacrifice paid off a year later when we were able to move into our own apartment on Long Island. Back then, coming from the city if people heard you lived on Long Island they thought you were rich (not the case). She found a way to move closer to her Dream! And this step, no matter how big or small built a lot of confidence. She continued to work, so we could experience things she did not as a child. She took us to Disney World, we experienced life traveling outside of the country, playing organized sports. However, she paid for all these things with 80 hour work weeks, through working 2 and 3 jobs, through sacrifice. 3 years later she was able to purchase a house, still in Long Island for us to live.

A question that comes to me is how a single Mom of two sons can afford to buy a house in one of the most expensive areas in the country. The answer, sacrifice! You can have anything you want if you are willing to pay the cost to get it. Now again the price on that house may have been paid it dollars but the cost was much more. She continued to sacrifice moments and relationships for her Dream of giving her children a better reality.   In a 5 year time frame she took her and her sons from sleeping on cots, living in the basement of a relatives house to purchasing her own and giving her sons their own rooms. That is what sacrifice can do. It can take a family that has a history of both parents (on Mother and Father sides) not being there to raise their children. My Mother sacrificed daily, so my brother and I can go to college. My Mother sacrificed daily, so we could graduate with a bachelor in four years. My Mother sacrificed, so my brother and I could travel the world. My Mother sacrificed, so we can be young black professionals. My Mother sacrificed, so we can understand one of life's greatest lessons. That you can't get everything, but you can get anything if you are willing to sacrifice for it. As a result, she has her Dream fulfilled. Thank you Mommy...


#DreamBIG #ALLIN

Jay The Motivator

Preparation (Part 3)

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator

How long would you be willing to prepare yourself for that 1 moment? 

How long is too long? If it took you 5 years to prepare would that be too long? Would you rather accept never being able to realize your Dream? If it took 10 years to prepare is that pushing the limit? Would you concede your Dream because 3,000 days is too much for you? If you are truly passionate about your Dream these would be silly questions. The answer would be a resounding no! You would do whatever it takes for as long as it takes. So why do our mouths say one thing yet our actions choose otherwise? Because the road is long. It takes hard work and sacrifice to make it down this road and being on it for years can wear on you. So whats refreshes you when the wear and tear becomes too much? Faith, "for with God nothing is impossible." Noah was given a Dream to create an Arc, a vessel larger than a football field. It took him more than 20 years to take this from a Dream to a reality. What if he had given up because it was going to take too long? What if he said he was too old? You have people that you don't even know who are counting on you to bring your Dream to fruition. Build YOUR Arc and declare "I will until!"


#DreamBIG #ALLIN

Jay The Motivator

Preparation (Part 2)

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator

If living a fulfilling life came down to executing in one moment, how would you prepare?

Now the magnitude of this question may be lost on some, however it is a question of much significance. You can have that moment of opportunity come upon you and because you have done nothing to prepare you do not even recognize it as an opportunity. Or you see it but are unable to take advantage because you did not do the work required before hand. Either way you are left with the reality that you will NEVER live a fulfilling life. Sit with that for a moment. How do you feel about that reality? That you will live out the last 40 years of your life empty, uninspired, and forgettable. If you are ok with this outcome continue your current course, give in to your fears, give in to your distractions, and ignore the discipline of time. 

Of course if this version of the future is not appealing you have the power to change it! 

Start today! How will you go about it? What books would you read? Who will you associate with? What classes would you take? Are you willing to do what it takes for as long as it takes for that one moment?


#DreamBIG #ALLIN

Jay The Motivator

Chartering the Course (Part 4)

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator

So to recap. You identified what your destination is. You identified which road will lead you there. You even identified what obstacles wait on that road for you. To conclude lets look at what it will take to overcome these roadblocks of Fear, Distraction and Time. 

 

Now Fear is the first roadblock that many encounter and it normal starts as a butterfly feeling in your stomach yet the more that you focus on that roadblock and hesitate getting passed it the larger it grows. Now people may look for a secret in getting passed fear and make assertions like "picture everyone in there underwear" before you go and speak however the real strength is not in the visualization, although that may help, the strength is in the doing. Doing in spite of. Feeling the fear and doing it anyway. That is where the true power lies. In my high school English class my professor has a quote from the Shakespeare play Julius Caesar that I will never forget. It goes, "cowards die many times before their death but the valiant never taste of death but once." The power of that statement did not occur to me until years later. However, looking back it is one of the most profound statements when it comes to fear. We will all feel Fear, however each time we shrink from that we die a little inside. Yet we have the power of choice! We can choose to be valiant and courageous, to take the road less traveled and act in spite of. 

 

Tip: To overcome Fear, act in spite of. 

 

The second roadblock that you'll come across in this journey is Distraction. Now this roadblock you are continuing along your journey and you come across a beautiful oasis. This place has it all, shade, fresh water a great view. This place becomes so popular that more and more people are attracted there. So now you even have company. You start to share your story about your journey and listen to all the stories of your new "friends" of their journey. However, after you have told your story for the 100th time you start to realize you haven't made any progress since you have gotten there. Your next realization is that you have spent 2 years in this "oasis" and what have you purchased with your time? A Distraction! So what do these roadblocks that steal your time look like? For everyone it appears different. For some it can look like social media (Facebook, instagram, snapchat), others it may appear in the form of tv, netflix and hulu. Yet and still for others it can reveal itself as video games (Madden, NBA 2K, Call of Duty), rec league sports, going out to drink or even your phone! So now that you know how sneaky this roadblock is, what now? First identify and then sacrifice. 

 

Tip: To overcome Distraction, identify and sacrifice. 

 

The last roadblock, is the one of Time. When you start your journey you are full of enthusiasm and that propels you forward. That energy helps you overcome the initial setbacks that you will encounter. However, eventually that vigor runs out. When it does, what do you rely on to propel you forward? Running a sprint is much different than running a marathon. How you prepare, what muscles you develop, even the food you eat is different. On your journey you are running a marathon. You are not relying on that initial burst to propel you over that finish line. It is not the adrenaline that is going to give you the energy to finish. So what helps a marathon runner finish? Consistency. One foot in front of the next. An extra 2 strides. Shaving 3 seconds off of each mile. More often than not, that is what makes the difference. Those who are not consistent with their training do not finish. Those who are not consistent with improving will fall back with the rest of the pack. Be consistent, shave off those 3 seconds, finish the NY Marathon with the gold instead of silver. 

 

Tip: To overcome Time, be Consistent and Patient

 

For those few who are consistent and do in spite of. For those few who are consistent and don't spend time in that "oasis." For those few who are consistent until.  Those are the ones that will overcome the roadblocks of Fear, Distraction and Time.


#DreamBIG #ALLIN

Jay The Motivator

Chartering the Course (Part 3)

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator


Now you know your destination and you are on the road following those breadcrumbs. Which is great now that you know the way. However, knowing the way and going the way are two distinct things. Knowing the way is the easy part. In school to get an "A" in the class you have to average an "A" on all assignments and tests. Simply get a 100 on everything and you're there! Yet how many of us actually do that? What's the disconnect? We have the destination in mind, we know the road to getting there yet traveling that road is what separates the "A" students from everyone else. In life it separates those who accumulate wealth from those chained to debt. So what is so difficult about traveling this road? What are the road blocks that try and divert us from our path? Probably the biggest one, Fear. Fear is that initial road block that tries to keep you from ever starting down the road. Fear makes you believe that its too scary or dangerous to journey down that road and that you are better off staying where you are. Having never attempted anything great but also being on that road when it gets dark. The next road block that you'll encounter is named Distraction. Now Distraction's aim is to divert your focus. Instead of you working solely on moving forward on your road, you start investing your time in Distraction. Yes, it looks beautiful, yes it smells wonderful and you feel good with it but Distraction has only purpose... to keep you from your destination. Lastly, as the name journey implies it will take Time. The road that you will travel down is a long one. It will be most difficult test of your character. Patience, persistence, and commitment are all going to be tested. However, whatever your mind can believe, you can achieve. 


#DreamBIG #ALLIN

Jay The Motivator

Chartering the Course (Part 2

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator

"If you don't know where you want to go any road will get you there"

Sometimes it seems difficult to know which road is for us. To determine which path is the one that will lead us to our personal Greatness? At times like that it is best to work with the end in mind. Last week, you got clarity on your destination now its a matter of chartering your course. So how do you go about making this happen? Follow the breadcrumbs. Anything Great that has been done has been written about. If you are unsure where to start, follow the breadcrumbs. I know for some reading books consistently may seem as unrealistic as climbing Mount Everest, yet you can do it!  Commit to 10 pages a day. Its simple and easy to do and even easier not to do. Yet the same way you climb Mount Everest, putting one foot in front of the other is the same here. Its not 1 particular step that gets you up the mountain its all of those steps combined that bring the unrealistic to reality. Those 10 pages may not seem like much however, over a month's time it amounts to 300 pages (the equivalent of a book), over a year's time it adds up to 3,650 pages!! (12 books!). So now you know not only where you want to go but if you follow these breadcrumbs you now know the journey from where you are to where you want to be.


#DreamBIG #ALLIN

Jay The Motivator

Dreams (Part 4)

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator

What would you say to your younger self at that point you gave up on your Dream?

This is probably the most poignant question of the series. Yet it was necessary to work our way here. So if this is the first article that you are coming across don't cheat the process, start from the beginning. Imagine for a moment that you have the opportunity to go back to that exact moment that you gave up on your Dream. Knowing what you know now what would you say to yourself? Would you tell yourself to not stress over trying to realize your Dream. That living a life without your Dream is bearable, that giving up on your Dream may hurt for a little while but as time goes on the pain will fade. That whenever you see someone else living their Dream you will attribute it to them being lucky or supremely talented and gifted. These excuses may help you sleep at night but your Dream will never come. 

Or will you do the the hard thing?  Will you fight for your Dream? Will you endure the pain to ensure your Dream becomes a reality? Will you tell yourself of the pains of mediocrity, the pain of settling, the pain of giving up the thing that was truly meant for you? 

Well if you chose the later I have some good news for you. You are never too old to Dream. Although you may have given up on your Dream before that doesn't mean that you cannot Dream anew. This time strengthened with new resiliency, new courage, new understanding of Purpose, this time you can turn your Dream into a reality. 


It's time you have a conversation with yourself.

#DreamBIG #ALLIN

Jay The Motivator

Dreams (Part 3)

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator

 

At what exact moment did you decide to give up on your dream?

Last time we spoke about what was the cause of you giving up on your Dream. With that we took a step closer to where the magic happens. This time we are going to take a look at WHEN you decided to give up on your Dream. Now at first glance it may be a question easy to dismiss. Like "that was so long ago, how am I gonna remember an exact moment". Get out of your own way. Its been my experience that people have a vivid recollection of when they quit their Dream.   So what was that moment for you? Was it when you were cut from the basketball team? Were you fired from your Dream job or have the company you create to live your Dream go bankrupt? Did life ever maim you, taking with it your left arm but never your Passion?  Michael Jordan went through it but did not quit, Walt Disney went through it but did not yield, Bethany Hamilton went through it and did not give up.  What is the difference between them and that You?  A decision.  They decided that no matter the obstacle, circumstance or impediment they would NEVER give up on their Dream and you did not.  They decided to go ALL IN and you did not!


Maybe your moment was not as traumatic or violent yet the moment your Dream died is hugely impactful and life changing. I encourage you to be brave and relive that moment because next week we will conclude our Signature Series - Dreams.


#BeBrave #ALLIN

Jay The Motivator

Dreams (Part 2)

IG: @JayTheMotivator
FaceBook: @JayTheMotivator

What caused you to give up on your Dream?

Last time we spoke about Dreams and we acknowledged that the Dream that you have now is probably different than the Dream you had when you were younger. And I know some may say that "I was too young to really know what I want" or "It wasn't realistic for me to Dream about being The President of the United States or the Greatest Wide Receiver or The Baddest Man on the Planet." These men that became and fulfilled their Dreams, did not give into the notion that these Dreams are unrealistic. Each had things stacked against them on why they should not be able to realize the achievement of their respective Dream. History dictated that a Black man could not be President of the United States. In over 200 years there was not 1 Black candidate to represent one of the major political parties. Yet and still he held onto his Dream. Jerry Rice played wide receiver for a smaller school in college and was thought of as being too slow to be an elite wide receiver. Yet and still he held onto his Dream. Mike Tyson grew up in one of roughest neighborhoods in Brooklyn. He molded to his surroundings and was a delinquent being arrested over 30 times as a youth resulting in him being sent to a juvenile detention center. Yet and still he held onto his Dream. 

What is the adversary to your Dream? What excuse are you allowing to keep you from achieving your Dream? Muggsy Bogues at 5'3" did mot let his height deter him from playing in the NBA. Usain Bolt at 6'5" breaks the mold for a traditional sprinter and has dominated the field in spite of his "disadvantage".  What is the difference between those who have achieved their Dreams and the you who quit? Instead of focusing on what they lack (height, speed, a good background) they focused on what they DID have. 

So what is your Dream now? Looking to be your own boss, visit 100 countries in the world, climb Mount Everest. Instead of focusing on your lack of capital, or your inability to speak multiple languages or your lack of experience. Focus on what you do have, great sales ability, contacts in other countries, a trainer who has climbed  mountains before and above all a determination that will not allow you to quit. 


Its time to go ALL IN! Pursue your Dream with an undying fervor and all the Passion you can muster!   

#2017  #ALLIN

Jay The Motivator